37: Change

Today is a new day.

It has been a little under a month since I've posted last.

Sometimes taking a break is the best way to clear the mind, and the air.

Taking a break wasn't the only reason for my quiet though.

You would be proud to hear that I moved into a new space, a new sanctuary for myself.

After the last year and a half of some serious roommate toxicity, I am finally able to function like a normal human being again.

The air feels clear, and easy to breathe.

The space I fill in my apartment is mine, and feels like home.

You would not believe how things have shifted since moving in.

I get up early again, with time to relax, and prepare for my day.

I greet my snuggle buddy with kisses, and we take our morning stroll.

I prepare my coffee, only finding dishes in the sink that are my own..if there are any.

Planning my day feels enjoyable, and no longer centered around avoiding another person.

I go to sleep at night, and fall asleep peacefully-instead of with my head buzzing.

I am finally at ease, and things have slowed.

Unpacking, organizing, decorating, and having my own space again feels so refreshing..

but, if you know me at all-its that I never seem to be fully satiated-and ALWAYS find yet another task to do.

For example, I took this entire weekend to start ripping apart the backyard.

I LOVED every single second of it..

I barely touched my phone as a result, and found peace outside and in putting my hands to work.

I would like to find the balance between staying connected while also disconnecting.

I find that there are times where I can become so comfortable being alone, that I don't socialize as much as I should.

(I am ALSO attempting to replenish my nest egg after the move..so, that may also be something to take into account)

My head is buzzing, and I'd like to think its a great thing.

This seems to be a bunch of rambling, so..to sum it all up:

I moved, unpacked, my mom got married, family was in town, I unpacked more...

I can only hope that you are finding a piece of your peace, the way I am.

Or perhaps, you've found yours..and you're navigating through life until I can meet you on equal ground and footing.

I wish I could say I was ready, because wouldn't I love drinking coffee in the mornings with you, hot cocoa at night with Christmas movies, and all of the things in between..

But, something in my gut is telling me that I am only 1/10 of the way there.

In the past, it has always been somewhat easy for me to move forward after a relationship.

But, this time..it's taking time.

I can feel it in my bones, like preparing to go up for a presentation.

The anticipation, the build-up, that "right around the corner" feeling.

I know you're out there..and I've got a feeling it's going to be one of epic movie romance proportions.

I'm just delayed in Wardrobe and Makeup.

I'll see you on stage.

Also, for anyone reading this..if you have any tips for taking on the balance in your life-help!