Day 17: Standstill

The last few days my mind has felt like its been in this standstill, unsure of whether to go left, right, forward, or backward.

So, here we are stuck..running in place, just ensuring that we’re doing all of the things that keep our body going.

I wonder if its a good thing, to feel this stopping..to be paused.

Or, should we perhaps..make a move to push the play button?

It’s this moment, this standstill-

like you see in the movies; where time slows to a stop, the people in the streets come to a halt, and the noises dim to a buzz...and you just look around trying to figure out what it is that has stopped it all.

I recently read an article, that said there is no such thing as overthinking-just bad thinking..

It is in the standstill, that I notice my overthinking has possibly caused the standstill-that every fiber of my being wants to reflect on the entirety of a situation, weigh everything out, and understand the relevance of it in my life.

It’s a wild ride, being inside of my head.

But, I can only hope that I can fill my head with good thinking, and that I can continue to surround myself with those who love to think a little deeper into life, and the true beauty of every little success and standstill.

I hope that you find me among those people.

I know it will take time, I am patient..well, I’m trying to be.

It’s a tough thing, trying to change something that has suited me for so long.

I’ve grown comfortable with who I am as a person, and I’ve learned a number of things about myself..

Sometimes, my patience is choosy..or really, maybe I am choosy about when I want to be patient.

Whether the people I am around now will be in my future tomorrow doesn’t matter, it matters that I take a beat-and challenge myself to take on new things-such as patience in a completely different way than I’d ever viewed it.

I’m sure this seems like a tangent, and maybe it is. If so, I’m sorry for it-but not.

After all, this is my journal.

I truly hope I can learn to listen to you.

Always a challenge.

-me