Day 19: Waves

Sometimes love, or the heartbreak of love feels like when you were a kid at the beach..

You run towards the water, and then run away from it..giggling as it lightly touches your feet.

Yoi slowly make your way towards the water-a mixture of hesitation and naivety.

You let the water come up, and swirl around your ankles, your feet sinking into the sand.

..Still comfortable.

Then, at one point you find yourself inching a little further in..the water coming in, and embracing you with its salty pull.

Eventually, you find yourself going deeper, jumping with the waves, and enjoying everything about it..that salty touch, the embrace, the vivid blue, the glassy feel-that’s almost transparent.

But then one day, the water turns on you-a wave comes along, and instead of being able to jump with it..you get slammed by it.

Then, you find yourself getting pulled under, and you find yourself fighting for air, gasping as the salt stings your lungs and eyes.

You find you can’t breathe, because the tide just keeps pulling you under, and you can’t stand because you’ve gone too deep.

You fight to get to the surface, you keep fighting, because it’s absolutely vital that you catch your breath.

Every time you get a gasp of air, it feels like relief.

Until you get ripped back under.

..and suddenly, you realize you are drowning.

Panic sets in, and you find yourself in a momentary frozen state of mind..sink or swim?

Maybe sinking would be easier, because the weight of the water is too heavy, and the water is too rough..and everything seems impossible.

Tonight, I am sinking.