Day 40: It's the holidays

I would be lying if I said that the holidays don't refresh my hope for better things to come.

It might not get cold, but waking up and seeing a tree, and christmas lights seems to put me into a really warm sense of self.

I can't say things are going smoothly, but I am making the best of them.

At the end of this year, I have realized that some people are simply selfish, lowdown, and dirty.

But, at the end of the day-those people are just those things, and nothing else..and that's terrible for them.

Lucky for me, I caught on to how terrible these people were pretty early on...and although it was terrible to have to deal with them...I served my sentence, if you will...and i'm glad to have moved on.

I learned quite a few lessons of how to identify some really big red flags, what to do in the future, and how to set some really hard boundaries when you live with a person that not only has none-but also doesn't respect yours.

I am finally breathing clean, fresh air...and it's only fitting that its the time of the year when the air turns cold..and we're getting ready to start a new year.

I finally settled into my place, and it is MY place.

I'm starting projects, falling into a rhythm, and waking up with a sense of peace I haven't had in years.

I sat down the other day, and started making a list of things I wanted to do in Orlando..which is something I tried to do when I previously lived here with my ex.

I have always wanted to make a bucket list of things I wanted to do in the place I call home, and to learn the love the place I live in.

I'd like to think you'd be proud of me, because i'm proud of me.

Hopefully reading this makes you smile, the way it makes me smile..because the last week has been an emotional whirlwind..and I really need that smile.

Slowly but surely, i'm starting to find me again...and finding that I feel differently about some of the people in my life...

and that, maybe i'm realizing they aren't the people I thought they were...and that I really want to surround myself with deep connection, and solid bonds that consist of loyalty, love, laughter, and life.

no big steps though, just the baby ones...the kind that with each step, I am sure of the direction I am headed.

They take time, thought, and a lot of extra energy..and at the end of most days...I am definitely drained...but really grateful for what is headed my way.

I want things to get better, and I need them too.

...taking the steps, slowly headed your way.