Day 34: Guess you didn't cheat, but you're still a traitor. Oh wait, you cheated too.

It's been almost a year since things changed in such a weird way. About a year and a couple of weeks ago, I was about to be broken up..and not for the first time.

Believe me, just like you..I truly do wish that I wasn't thinking about this.

But, here I am-accepting it.

I am no longer feeling sad-and numb.

Here I am, embracing the fact that it hurt-and it was a serious betrayal.

My ex, breaking up with me-only to find someone else in a literal matter of days.

No period of grievance, no giving the relationship a courtesy period...and what seemed like no remorse.

But, after a year of seeing my ex with someone else-and ultimately seeing my relationship reflected, I had some serious "come to Jesus" moments.

Here I was, watching my ex lie, cheat, and manipulate someone else...

and you know what? That someone else was no longer me.

How lucky am I?

Today, I feel grateful, thankful, and blessed that she started the process (albeit lengthy, and drama-filled) of us no longer being in one another's lives..

leaving me, to fall in love.

And man, did I fall in love these last few months since my last update.

You would be so proud of me, and I think you are.

Was it messy? Yes.

But, was it worth it?

Yes, and it still is..and it continues to be.

What a beautiful thing to be able to revisit what I felt last year, but then to allow that feeling to pass through me-and not feel weighed down by it.

Does it still hurt? sometimes-but sometimes growth doesn't feel good.

Growing pains? Maybe that should've been my title.

But, the pain isn't heartbreak completely related to my ex and her terrible actions.

My heartbreak is within myself, and how I allowed so much to occur-and didn't stand up for the amazing human being that deserved. so much more.

I continue to heal this heart, and I continue to applaud my efforts at completely wrapping myself in love and boundaries.

Big, safe, warm hugs that feel like home.

The kind that make you think of when your parents tucked you into bed like a burrito.

No one else? Just me? Oh well.