Day 12: The unknown

What is the middle ground for a hopeful romantic?

Where does hopeful end and reality begin?

When do we stop putting our hearts out there, and start accepting that not everyone is the same?

When laying our hearts down does nothing, and instead it gets trampled on?

Do we journey on, broken heart in our hands..and tell ourselves that at least we gave it our all-that there was no excuse on our end in lack of trying?

How do we start working towards finding the right people to invest in, romantically and platonically?

Of course, there will always be people who don’t work along the way-but how do we truly know someone’s intentions in being in our lives?

Luckily for me, instead of just asking questions I am trying out different ideas and strategies that will hopefully start to attract the right people into my life.

(I am hopeful I will find the right balance.)

I have been reflecting on what has gone awry in the past, when I have ended up in toxic relationships and asked myself “where did this go wrong?”.

Well, after reflecting-I realized that I always started off strong and firm in my boundaries, but found my attraction to someone always lead me down a path that somehow forked off in to a grey territory.

That grey said “okay, you have boundaries-but I’m going to push them and see what you do as a result”..

And the hopeful part of me expected that grey to respect my boundaries, and respect me for having them.

But, the only person who can truly stand by your boundaries is you-and it’s up to you (well, me) to enforce them.

No matter how hard it might me, enforcing consequences for breaking your boundaries sets a hard line that tells anyone “this is not acceptable”.

If we don’t stand by our boundaries-how can we expect anyone else to do the same?

But, the biggest thing I’ve come to realize is that if someone wants to be in your life-the idea of respecting your boundaries isn’t even questionable.

I hope you and I have found a healthy middle ground, I hope we thrive in our independence-but grow in our coexistence.

I know that I can continue to be a better person, but having you around will help me grow in ways I never thought imaginable.

I hope you don’t see me as the safe and reliable choice, but as the obvious choice for you-and I hope I feel the same.

I hope that I can trust my hopefulness and my (meticulously pieced back together) heart in your hands.

I hope that you can stand behind me, I can stand behind you, and we have one another’s backs in every situation we come across-no matter how personal it can be for either of us.

I hope that when you push me to question

my stance on a sensitive matter such as my family-that instead of being defensive, I hear your perspective instead of pushing it off.

I hope you never question reaching out to me, and always feel comfortable enough to communicate any issues directly to me..especially one’s regarding your boundaries.

I hope you always feel heard, because darling-your love speaks volumes and reverberates in my heart.

I hope we can be a united front, and know that we are not the enemies-but respectful and loving allies.

Forever hopeful, and always acting without regret (at least in love)-A